The Intervention
by ArrowandShield
Summary: The fallout of the TMZ scandal. Pre-CaptainHawk. Asex!Clint. Straight!Steve


**The fallout from the TMZ scandal...  
**

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**The Intervention  
**  
Tony had led the charge.

There was no way to reason why the genius inventor was so riled up about the whole thing. Probably because he wasn't the one to discover it first and by missing out wasn't the one that got to do any unveiling or lording over Steve and Clint.

The rest of the team didn't share Tony's righteous aggression. Natasha seemed calmly disinterested but Clint was positive that she would find him later to have a 'private chat' about all this. Bruce was quietly bemused and perhaps a little confused and Thor… well Thor was actually enthusiastic about the whole thing. In between Tony's rants and raves about secrecy and deception, Thor loudly declared a celebration on the whole thing and demanded to know when Steve and Clint planned on being married.

Steve had choked at the mention of marriage and Clint whacked him soundly on the back a few times to get his breathing under control. Tony used the minor rescue as a prime example. Bruce had cut him off at the pass on that one asking Tony if he would have let someone choke if they weren't in his favor.

Steve and Clint would remember later, when they truly were together, to tell Bruce first. The doctor was delighted for them and had insisted on making them dinner right then and there. Tony would fume for weeks afterwards.

The inventor ranted and raved. Enraged that he'd had to find out from TMZ that the archer and soldier were together. He ranted aloud as how it was so obvious and there were signs everywhere and why didn't he _see_it before?!

And Thor seemed to be in full wedding planner mode. He declared they would only have the finest mead and wines. A cake glazed in honey and candied fruits. Creamy soups with tiny bobbing onions. Meat pastries soaked in gravy. Spit roasted game birds glazed red with spices. Wood smoked vegetables cooked until buttery soft in their own skins. Buttermilk breads crackling crisp on the outside and feather soft and sweet within. Thor himself would lead the hunt for the main course. To hear him describe the animal in particular it was something like a cross between a boar and a lion and the size of a Clydesdale and was best when roasted with golden apples, a beast fit for the union of two warriors like Clint and Steve.

Steve and Clint had to admit, barring the whole 'glorious hunt resulting in scars to bond them for life' thing, the feast that Thor described sounded delicious.

Tony raved about what it would do to the team. They were only just starting out; half the world thought they were a nuisance, dangerous. If Clint and Steve had TOLD him Tony could have arranged a quiet way to put the relationship out there. Though the idea of Tony doing anything quietly seemed farfetched.

The marriage will take place in Asgard. Well away from the rules and bylaws and conditional opinions of Midgard. The Allfather of course would officiate, his very word was law. Bruce took a few minutes to quietly explain, over Tony's sarcastic grumbling, that same gender marriages and civil unions were allowed in the state of New York, that they needn't travel to Asgard for a wedding… if they ever decided to get married that is.

He should have known the second they moved in together. It made no sense why they would move in together without being together. They were attached at the hip after all.

All of the High Court would be there. _All _of them, yes? Loki included? He was part of the team. And Loki knew 'style'. Loki had been in reference to most of the unions in the High Court. He knew just which flowers to use; surely Loki would know a fine way to blend Clint's purple and Steve's blue. And Loki would know just how their robes would need to be cut. So Loki was going to be included, understand?

Clint shouted for them to stop and shut up for a few minutes. He and Steve tried to explain that they weren't together, they probably never would be. They were friends, good friends. Clint was asexual… then Clint had to explain being asexual which took about an hour resulting in Thor looking at him sympathetically and believing he was eunuch… And that Steve was straight.

Tony had surprised the hell out of Clint and Steve and everyone else when he shouted how it didn't matter. So what? Straight plus asexual between a couple of guys works out perfectly, just with a lack of mechanics. Who cared? The real issue was why did it have to be TMZ?!

The outburst made both Clint and Steve blush and they wouldn't meet each others eyes at Tony's deduction of the possibility of the situation. Clint and Steve refused to discuss it but it was the first time that the idea itself had been planted and it would not be ignored completely.

Clint had sighed and slumped over, leaning heavily against Steve, with his head dropped comfortably on the soldier's shoulder and bicep. Steve had slid down low in his seat, making it more comfortable for himself and Clint too.

Those small actions of camaraderie and comfort had just set Tony off on another tirade about their supposed relationship.

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**A/N: Who wouldn't want a Asgardian wedding? Hope you guys liked!**


End file.
